Friday, September 19, 2014

Why can´t you be happy with me


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Crop top + Boots (Monki), Cardigan+ Skrit +Necklace + Hat(H&M)

I can't wait you see me 'round the corner, 
running up into the upswing
Call me, I'm done, when I speak about the truth
The moment come the bottom to the down beat, 
It's not easy there when you feel the wear
Patients bring the chair, ooh-oh oooh-oh

Everyday do you notice that we're never free
Why can't you be Happy with me?
Everyday we are running, though we're not trapped in the sea
Oh, why can't you be Happy with me?!
Oh, why can't you be Happy with me?!


Holychild Im in love with you! I found this new indie band called holychild. I just watched an interview that explains the meaning behind their cool songs and now I feel more in love... The song are basically a critic towards the image of ourselves that is being projected, reproduced, constructed and indoctrinated trough the media and social norms. She basically criticized gender roles, having to follow norms and unconsciously/secretly loving the fact that you are following a systematical structure because you are longing for stability. Happy with me is about our lack of freedom, we are basically trapped in a world that constructs ours live by reproducing power relations, norms and so on. In a world like that being outside the norm becomes instantly a problem... So that's why the hook goes, Why can't you be happy with ME. 

At the moment I'm  so obsessed about this song because I feel like people and the rest of world usually can't accept us just the way we are. In relationships, friendships and even in inside of our families I see we are always expecting more from us. I also know that every time I hear: why can't you be happy with me... And immediately, I think about my five year relationship that ended rather abruptly (just recently) and being rejected by another guy soon after that... 
The part when she sings that we are not free and we keep running away almost as we were trapped in the sea is something I can totally relate in so many different ways. The fact that I always find myself running away from conflicts, somehow always finding myself in sensitive matters, always wanting to move, the feeling of being trapped, feeling overwhelm and also feeling underestimated is so frustrating and numbing. I know it has to do with my insecurities and what not. I wish I could be more accepting and I wish others could be more accepting of me. But at the same time I know there is a limit and I know that I will never accept bad behavior from people just because they are the way the are. Being rude and playing games, playing with emotions is not natural. And never OK

I think Im going to end it here... Before I disclose to much and I lose the flow... I love music like this, its accessible, catchy but it also makes you think about the lyrics and the meaning behind them... Why can't you be happy with me? 

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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I wear my heart on my sleeve

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Mom jeans, mom jeans! Why its that we end up loving what we used to hate. I loved seeing mom jeans on others and I always thought they were not for me. I was out shopping this saturday, I casually entered topshop without the intention of buying any denim, I saw this pair of mom jeans and I decided to get them... Im so happy that I got them... Im pretty sure Im going to be leaving in them this winter... 

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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Sunflowers are for dreamers

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dress:(yoyomelody), bag:(Topshop),Jacket&Boots(H&M)

Hello everybody! I was going to start this post by telling you about my hectic week at work... I was going to tell you that I finally voted and that I cannot wait for this elections to be over... I was going to tell you that I'm so over the elections, politics and hypocrisy... 
But instead I wanna talk to you about sunflowers, dreams, freedom, love, believing, expectations and the future. I believe that sunflowers are one of the most underestimated flowers. I believe that Im really close to finding my way back so that I can finally get in touch with myself again...and when I get there I will find freedom from my thoughts that are keeping away from accomplishing my dreams, And this time I won't run away like I always do... I m sure Im going to find love and then I know that Im not going to be hard on myself for having high expectations... I thought my life and future was already written... And I was fine with what I though my life was going to be... Now I know that I still own the power to rewrite my future and Im know that I will not be afraid of it.... And at the end I just want to end by saying that I love sunflowers, because sunflowers are for understatemated dreamers like me...

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Monday, September 8, 2014

Blanc sur blanc

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I know Its been awhile since I posted anything... I wish I could give you a straight forward reason for why I've been away, but I can't... I feel  like I am all over the place. I feel like I have a million things to do and I still haven't find structure. I took time off from school and actually last friday I started paying my student loan. Its feels nice, but I cannot wait to actually be done with school... I'm going to make an afford to get my schedule back on track. 

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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Do what scares you

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Long kimono/dress:Yoyomelody, Crop top & Boots:Monki, Denim:Cubus


Hi guys! Omg, when is this week going to end. Don't get me wrong, I've been loving this week so far. But this is the second time I come home and I'm completely paralyze of exhaustion. I always thinking that Im going to come home and do a bunch of things, like exercise and get other things ready, but guess not. Today was a really rewarding day.Its nice to know that you are getting better att something that you used to suck at. I was at a high school today talking about my job (at the YMCA) and recruiting new people to our actives. I used to suck at holding presentation mostly because talking in front crowds is not my forte ( I still think I suck at it) . Talking infront of huge audience scares the hell out of me. So it just feels so good to know that Im getting better in that department. When It comes to speaking in front of an audience the only cure is practice. When I was done I felt so accomplished with my self. It was an amazing feeling. 

But hey, what do you think about my floral kimono? It was actually a long dress that I decided to make into a kimono, because I felt like it looked better this way. This was actually send to me together with some other things from a store called Yoyomelody. I wish they had more stuff, I feel they need to expand their variety, but the quality of the clothes is alright for the price. And their shipping is pretty fast as well. So Im pretty much feel that I was introduced to this online store. 

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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Balloons, is all I need!

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So shine bright, tonight you and I
We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Eye to eye, so alive
We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky

I was going to do a post about cutting this old dress and making into a short cropped and long skirt. But once I put it on and did my hair and started taking the pictures, I changed my mind immediately.I had so much fun doing this and when I added the balloons I felt right away that it was going to be a great day.  I had these balloons since my birthday and I cannot get enough of them. I hope they never deflate. I got home so late but so content with my day. I hope today is just as rewarding at it was yesterday. And Im really hoping and imagining all this, but I really think I'm being haunted... I have to hurry now, but I will tell you more about this on my next post.

Puss&kram - Vanilla sky! 

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