Personal Style and lifestyle by Amanda C.Watson

Monday, July 30, 2012

From January to December, do you wanna be a member?

Sorry for being away so long... I've been so busy with so much but I really dont wanna go into details... or maybe I should? hmmm .... 
I was going to blog the other day but I felt like it wasnt a great idea... cuz I basically wanted to rant and just like write about all the things that were bothering me that day... But I felt like, so weird about it, I know that one of you left a comment saying that they felt like it was refreshing to read about "real stuff" and like real issues... My intention with this blog from the beginning was to write about "real stuff" but I also wanted to do the things that I do today with the blog....
If I was completely anonymous, like I was in the beginning, I would totally let it all out ( I wonder if this is my excuse)...I know this sounds cheesy, but I really wanna help people that are/have been in this situation, but how can I help others, when Im still dealing with all this ?
But I feel like I can't let it all go and at the same I feel like the only thing that is going to help is to let it all out...
I was talking to this girl I met at work, she and I share a similar past... and she said that the only thing that helped her was to let it all out...she faced that one person that was/ but still is haunting her life and she feels stronger... but its all a process...
The problem with me is that I totally suppressed all my memories, all emotions from that period and now that Im older everything is coming back and its affecting the life that I live today... I thought i was going to be able to suppressed till the end... But I guess not..
Im so affected by it that I just can't, move on with my life... I feel stuck!
Sometimes I feel like it was just a dream , but when it hits me hard, I know it wasn't a dream because it wasn't...
Its amazing how things in your like can shape you into the person you eventually become...
and its amazing how some of us cope with stuff from our past...some us do good, some us do bad, and then there are people like me....
I m basically tired of suppressing it and I feel that I want to let it out and just be done with it... so I can start leaving my life without even thinking about it for a second... But I just keep coming up with  excuses, and feel like Im ready but at the same time I don't feel like 'm ready to do it... Maybe this will be the year I deal with all the stuff from the past--- But ever since I was 21 I've been thinking about doing it...today Im 24 and I still haven't...you guys get Im talking about counseling?... omg this is the first time I actually said it and write it as well (could this be the first time I really meant it)... I really wanna do it... but it really scares me... how can I take the first step?  But I think Im getting closer and closer
You know some of you were right, my last post was basically about me and some of my issues...
For some reason, I feel like talking about yourself in third person makes you see things clearer... 
Alright, Im going to stop here before I get more emotional...  and will talk to you later =) 

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25 comments

  1. You look gorgeous. It's a big step to go for counselling, very brave. I am sure you can do, and will feel a sense of acheivement just from booking an appointment. Good luck lovely x x

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  2. God i can really relate to these deep thoughtful posts of yours..I'm just not able (or brave enough) to write any off this kinda personal stuff in my own blog, partly cause i wanna keep it a light and carefree place and partly cause i share this kinda personal stuff with a few friends and with professionals as well..

    I'm a hugely complex and issued person myself and i've been to therapy for about a year and a half now (not very regularly though cause i haven't quite found that right person yet) I strongly recommend that you take that first step and get some counseling if you've thought about it. I really believe it would do good for you and take that extra emotional baggage off your shoulders. Once you get to let it all out to a person whose job is to listen, understand and deal with your issues you're gonna start feeling better, step by step.

    I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone with your issues. Don't be afraid to help yourself dear, lots of strength and good luck with everything! <3 :]

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  4. If this is something you've thought through, you should go for it. Although it is a big step, being able to talk to someone impartial can lift all that heavy weight off your shoulders and will help you clear your head. Hope whatever decision you make goes well :)
    Love the print on your top - Lola x

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  5. Love those creepers and your hair! Gorgeous

    Anna
    stylescreed.blogspot.com

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  6. Wow, that floral blouse is just so pretty! I love how you made it edgy with your dark complements and creeper shoes ♥
    Also, that girl you talked to was right - letting it out will help! Hoping you'll feel better and be able to move on from whatever it is that's haunting you.

    Enter to win a dress from Alainn Bella!
    Trendy Teal

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  7. lovely blog. please check out my newest post <3

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  8. I'm not sure what you're dealing with, but you do need an outlet in order to come to terms with it, whether it be blogging about it or going to therapy. Whatever you choose, I wish you luck!

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

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  9. I really like the shirt and love your eye makeup by the way you do need to eventually let whatever it is clinging to you out this blog is your blog and if you feel the need to take it in whatever direction you please whether it be written anonymous or written under every personal style post or in third person then go for it I wish you the best

    www.deejayspeaks.blogspot.com

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  10. lovely outfit! Its def best to let things out instead of suppressing everything on the inside <3 Youll feel alot better after you do it :)

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  11. Great blog! Love the floral top with the spikes.

    Would appreciate it if you would check out my blog and give me some input!

    xo
    Emily Jenny

    Stiletto Beats

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  12. amazing outfit!! the hair fits it really well.

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  13. Amazing outfit!
    I really love your style!!!
    And of course I'm your newest follower :)

    XOXO
    http://foreverfashion-2011.blogspot.pt/

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  14. Kako si samo cool!Uvijek!;)
    xx
    B.

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  15. Amazing look! I like your shirt and necklace :)
    Following you! Stop by sometimes :)

    http://dare2wear.blogspot.com/

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  16. Love the look, hun. Super rad shoes!

    xx Love & Aloha
    http://elisharon.blogspot.com

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  17. Amazing look and great photography!

    Love your blog - I am following you on GFC and bloglovin'

    I would love if you checked my new post out! and if you like my blog, maybe we can follow each other?

    Jess XO

    http://www.mindbodyshop.blogspot.com.au/

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  18. Wonderful outfit.*_*
    Would you like to follow each other on BLOGLOVIN and GFC???
    My Blog

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  19. Love this outfit, especially that delicate top. Really balances out with the black skirt, tights, and shoes!

    Gonna follow you now :)

    -Jenn
    Chīsana Blogger

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