Personal Style and lifestyle by Amanda C.Watson

Friday, May 3, 2013

Keep going!

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I was going to post this post yesterday... But I feel like the message and the whole point of the post has totally change... I still think the message that I inserted in the images have the same impact today as they did yesterday. But today I see it all a little bit differently....
So, most of you have read my info presentation,  you already know that I'm interested in International politics and if you have been following me since January you may also know that I recently received my bachelors degree in International relations... Besides being extremely passionate about global issues, I am an active member of amnesty international and UN women. And my goal is to work with womens issues on international level. Specially with peace and conflict issues. At the beginning of this year I made a decision to continue studying a master degree that I though would give the basic tools to understand gender issues. This master program is really challenging and totally different from what I was used to. So sometimes I feel like I wanna quit... So far I've been passing all the obstacles that has come my way and I really feel like I have gained so much knowledge even though its not necessarily connected to International politics all the time...I think that I should continue my masters degree in gender science... and that I should keep trying to connected to the global issues that I 've studied...My dreams are big and they totally terrify me and I often see how I m unconsciously sabotaging myself. Cuz, let be honest, its just so easy to give in... Which brings me up to todays incident. So,  at the moment Im studying a curse called equality work and management practice and in our last assignment they want us to examine and formulate our own equality plan. They wants to gained knowledge about the equality praxis within government organizations, municipality or even counties. One part of the assignment requires us to do an interview. At first I though, oh an interview, no big deal... But then I started to get extremely anxious and extremely intimidated. I just felt like, gosh I'm only a student and yes I might have a degree but I don't have a title and I started thinking that the people that work with these type questions were totally going to ignore me. After rewriting the email that I was going to send to the person that I was going to interview... I finally push the send bottom and I anxiously waited on their replay. I actually didn't have the direct contact information to the equality and diversity strategist (aka the person main person that is on the top of all the equality work that is driven within this special municipality) so I had to send it to their main contact center. Now they have a 24 hour policy, so I was waiting and waiting and a whole day went by, but they didn't answer me back ... so I thought gosh I was right, they are totally ignoring me. So today I was super sad and kinda in a bad mood because it seemed like all my classmates were on the right way. But I decided to go home and put myself together and after rehearsing what I was going to say I made the call... I waited around 7 minutes and this lady answered and I explained who I was and all, and she directly was giving me an attitude and she was like: Oh are you sure you were supposed to contact a municipality (LIke dont you know who we are)  and then she was like oh: What company are you from even though I said like a million times that I was a student...
By that point I was about give up and just cry... Now,  I know I did a mistake because I had the name of the person that I was supposed to contact in the first place, but I wasn't sure if I was able to get in touch with this person because of this persons title, gosh Im so damn silly. Can you believe that I was actually thinking that I was never going to get in touch with this person since this person probably doesn't deal with questions from little people like me (Talk about being insecure)... At some point in the conversation the skeptical lady finally came around, and she finally said she was going to  connected me to their equality and diversity strategist ( The person that I was seeking all along ) . To my surprise this person was super enthusiastic and XXX actually said that XXX already answered my email and that XXX was happy to answer any questions...  (Oh I dont want to say if it was a she or he so thats why I put XXX... SO what had happened was that I didnt see XXX's mail because it for some reason end up in my spam box. I feel so silly for getting upset, because all this time I was thinking that they decided to ignore my request, when in fact I was the one ignoring that they had already answered... how silly of me... But the important thing is that XXX and I had a little chat and we booked an inteview and XXX also invited me to a conference that they are going to have with some representatives that work with equality issues and some representatives from the county. SO I actually ended up getting more then I was aiming for. An interview and a meeting with the representatives of the municipality and the Swedish county... So what I've learn today is that I need to confront my fears and I need to stop being such a coward, I need to stop crying for every little thing that comes my way. I need to start taking more space and I need to stop doubting myself. I'm my biggest fan, but also my biggest enemy... I just dont want my stupidity and fears stop me from doing the things I want to do. Now Im telling you all this to vent a little bit, and also because I m hoping that I might encourage you do take the next step if you are like me. And dont let the nervs get the best of you.. and to finish this post I just want to say that that big dreams/accomplishments/tasks and things that you decided to do should totally scare the living *** out of you, its ok to get scare but and its your job and responsability to keep going no matter what. You never know what you may get in return if you just let go and go with the flow... 

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12 comments

  1. Wow, this text totally relates to one situation I'm dealing with at the moment...At the same time I want it to happen but I'm also anxious/scared to death by it. Thanks for the encouraging words, and I'm so happy for you that everything went well in the end :)

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  2. love the jacket :)




    http://chocolatefashioncoffee.blogspot.ro/

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  3. Cute outfit x love how simple it is


    Kerrimelcream.blogspot.com

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  4. Wow this is really inspiring and motivating, it's true that there will always be obstacles on our way but it always gets better!! I'm glad you were able to get more than you were aiming for!! :)
    Btw love your necklace and the camo jacket in the outfit!! :)
    xx

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  5. That's really a great post!
    Would u like to follow each other?

    http://lowbudget-lowcost.blogspot.it/

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  6. That is so amazing what happened to you girl! So glad it worked out for you :)
    Also loving that military coat <3

    Trendy Teal

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  7. love the shirt..love the necklace..and love that quote..i often think about what it means and what people who dreamt big achieved and how it changed the world.

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  8. i really love the quote on your pics such a good one!
    i also love the camo shirt i definitely have a thing for camo i love it great outfit.
    xx

    ❤ Alex

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  9. Jag älskar dig för att du är så otroligt inspirerande!! Själv är jag alltid lika rädd för att göra stora beslut och våga göra saker som får mig känna osäker.. man har stora drömmar men de är lätta att tystas ner. Vill inte göra det, men samtidigt vågar jag inte heller göra något för det. Sådana människor som du motiverar mig att bli bättre på detta och kämpa hårdare.. tack för det Amanda<3

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